Do you ever ponder? Sometimes I wonder if what I think about is something God wants me to be prepared for. Or because He knows what I’m thinking, does He then allow it? Even thought He’s outside of time and knows the beginning from the end.
In my naiveté and my intense longing for people to come to faith in and allegiance to Christ, I pictured myself in a situation. I, along with others, were in a waiting room. We had cancer. I witnessed to my fellow chemo-therapy patients about the joy of being a child of God. It felt right. I smiled.
Of course, there was no reality of fear of the diagnosis or the pain of the procedure. Having participated in the Hallelujah Acres or Hacres.com recommended lifestyle, I don’t even believe in chemo-therapy or radiation. I’m convinced of healthy eating habits and exercise to put anti-oxidants in my bloodstream and to reduce stress. I also believe in the Bible. One verse says, “You are not your own, you were bought with a price.”
Which means Jesus has called me to sacrifice myself for the well-being of others. This thinking is all well and good until you go to the dermatologist for a standard appointment. When “By the way, will you check out this small irritation on my shoulder?” turns into an immediate biopsy, (which my doctor has never done), and then a diagnosis of a rapid growing skin cancer, I’m no longer philosophizing about the dreaded disease.
Did I do as I think Reverend George Malkmus of Hallelujah Acres would do and not get the offending site surgically removed? No. I went to the general surgeon a week ago and had him cut away the bad with the hopes that he reached all healthy tissue. I’ll find out the results and the prognosis tomorrow. I have 2 1/4 inches of Frankenstein-like stitches on my left shoulder, black thread to be removed tomorrow. As a Star Trek fan, I can’t help thinking it’s a barbaric way to treat the body.
So I sat on a wooden chair, bar stool height and played guitar for church services two times today, balancing the instrument on my legs.
I asked my husband to go to the doctors’ tomorrow in case they want to remove more of my shoulder or if they suggest treatment. I want his support. I’ve prayed for healing and received others’ prayers for healing. I’m also very aware that this planet is not my home and heaven promises to be far better.
I believe God healed me. Maybe He’s testing me, “Do you intend to act on these thoughts of yours to witness to patients in the same situation as you are in?”
Frankly, I’d rather act on less painful scenarios that play their way through my mind.
I trust God. He’s answered way too many prayers and given me a deep abiding peace in the midst of struggles, to doubt His loving intervention in my life.